"We stopped pretending that the family had no feelings about adoption. Everyone had feelings...she [Franchesca] could not look to them [adoptive parents] for clues about her identity. As we talked about these issues I remembered something Wendell Berry said: 'If you do not know where you are from, it's hard to know who you are.'"
Adoption is something I think that has a reputation now that is completely different from several decades ago. Adoption used to be something that had a stigma to it. It was seen as second-best to having children of your own flesh and blood. It had negative connotations for both the parents and the child. It made neighbors and associates wonder why the couple felt the need to adopt. Was the man sterile? The woman infertile? And as for the child, why weren't they wanted? Did they come from a shady family? Were they an accident that the parents couldn't deal with? Or, the most scorned, were they a different race or mixed race? This was Franchesca's dilemma. She was a teenage girl who's roots traced directly back to a Native American tribe. She was bullied in school because of her heritage. But worse than that was Franchesca's loneliness. She struggled with the bullying because she could not find answers to her questions about identity. She was too young when she was adopted to remember her biological family, since she was adopted as an infant. An identity crisis can easily happen to someone who doesn't know the basics of who there are.
Luckily, I think the stigma is diminished in this day and age. Racism is not acceptable in society anymore. Adoption is not frowned upon, and the parents and children are not snubbed for their situation. Rates of adoption have drastically increased in recent years.
However, the identity problems are still there. In order to help a person struggling with their roots, try and help them find out about their biological families. They may even be able to get in touch with them, which can help them feel more at peace with who they are. Adoption is a great option and there is little to no shame in the modern age. There are plenty of children around the world who need loving homes, such as in Australia, where there are many children forcibly removed from homes but only a small fraction ends up being adopted. The rest do not have families and need them. Adoption is seen as a kind act now, not strange.
