Until reading this, I did not know that there was such a thing as imaginary audience syndrome, let alone what it was. Pipher describes it as a stage in the lives of most adolescents, where they stress about being judged for the smallest things. For example, many teenagers, especially middle-schoolers, are embarrassed by their parents' behavior or fashion sense. I get this way with my mom sometimes. She wears strange things and can act too outgoing at times. Every teenager has felt this way. But why should we care about this? They are their own individual people, and so are we, as their children."Teenage girls have what one psychologist called the 'imaginary audience syndrome.' They think they are being watched by others who are preoccupied with the smallest details of their lives." -Mary Pipher
The reason that so many teenagers stress over their parents behavior is because they feel as if it reflects onto them. If a parent acts in what we consider a socially unacceptable way, we fear that our parent will affect our social status. If a child has a strange parent, they might not want to be seen with them because it will make them look like a loser. We have a hard time separating our parents from ourselves, even though we are each an individual person.
Teenagers often have imaginary audience syndrome because they are egocentric. They think that the world revolves around them. Most of us at times have felt like we are constantly criticized, and that everyone is just waiting for us to slip up. When thinking that way, you put a lot of unhealthy and unrealistic pressure on yourself! The fact of the matter is that people don't remember the small things, and they most people don't spend their time searching for your flaws just because they feel like it.
Pipher says that most parents see this egocentricity as selfishness. Teenagers are unable to take the focus off of them, and want to get things their way. I maybe would not agree quite so wholeheartedly, but I think she makes a decent point. There are a lot of times where teenagers, including myself, but ourselves and our happiness first, not necessarily thinking about other consequences for ourselves or others. This video clip was taken from the show Anderson Live, a talk show. This particular clip shows a time where the Anderson had a mother and daughter on, talking about the daughter's desire for a Quincenera (which is similar to a "Sweet Sixteen"). The host also has a guest named Mel Robbins, who is a relationship expert. She addresses the daughter's egocentricity, because she wants a fancy elaborate party that her mother would be paying for entirely. Mel talks about how the struggle of imaginary audience syndrome and the tension it causes between children and parents. It is hard to break down the tensions unless realistic alternatives are shown for the child, something that appeals to him. Compromises are difficult, but possible.
How do we change the thinking associated with imaginary audience syndrome? Is it really just an adolescent phase? While I think the tendency decreases with age, many adults still have times where they think like this, don't they? Just something to reflect upon until my next post!
