Imaginary Audience Syndrome

"Teenage girls have what one psychologist called the 'imaginary audience syndrome.' They think they are being watched by others who are preoccupied with the smallest details of their lives." -Mary Pipher
 

 Until reading this, I did not know that there was such a thing as imaginary audience syndrome, let alone what it was. Pipher describes it as a stage in the lives of most adolescents, where they stress about being judged for the smallest things. For example, many teenagers, especially middle-schoolers, are embarrassed by their parents' behavior or fashion sense. I get this way with my mom sometimes. She wears strange things and can act too outgoing at times. Every teenager has felt this way. But why should we care about this? They are their own individual people, and so are we, as their children.

The reason that so many teenagers stress over their parents behavior is because they feel as if it reflects onto them. If a parent acts in what we consider a socially unacceptable way, we fear that our parent will affect our social status. If a child has a strange parent, they might not want to be seen with them because it will make them look like a loser. We have a hard time separating our parents from ourselves, even though we are each an individual person.

Teenagers often have imaginary audience syndrome because they are egocentric. They think that the world revolves around them. Most of us at times have felt like we are constantly criticized, and that everyone is just waiting for us to slip up. When thinking that way, you put a lot of unhealthy and unrealistic pressure on yourself! The fact of the matter is that people don't remember the small things, and they most people don't spend their time searching for your flaws just because they feel like it.

Pipher says that most parents see this egocentricity as selfishness. Teenagers are unable to take the focus off of them, and want to get things their way. I maybe would not agree quite so wholeheartedly, but I think she makes a decent point. There are a lot of times where teenagers, including myself, but ourselves and our happiness first, not necessarily thinking about other consequences for ourselves or others. This video clip was taken from the show Anderson Live, a talk show. This particular clip shows a time where the Anderson had a mother and daughter on, talking about the daughter's desire for a Quincenera (which is similar to a "Sweet Sixteen"). The host also has a guest named Mel Robbins, who is a relationship expert. She addresses the daughter's egocentricity, because she wants a fancy elaborate party that her mother would be paying for entirely. Mel talks about how the struggle of imaginary audience syndrome and the tension it causes between children and parents. It is hard to break down the tensions unless realistic alternatives are shown for the child, something that appeals to him. Compromises are difficult, but possible.

How do we change the thinking associated with imaginary audience syndrome? Is it really just an adolescent phase? While I think the tendency decreases with age, many adults still have times where they think like this, don't they? Just something to reflect upon until my next post!

Sex, Women, and Music

"I told Cayenne about the MTV I had watched in a hotel room in Chicago. I was shocked by the sexual lyrics and scenes. In the first video, open mouthed and moaning women writhed around the male singer. In the second video, four women with vacant eyes gyrated in low-cut dresses and high black boots. Their breasts and bottoms were photographed more frequently than their faces. When I expressed dismay, she said, 'That's nothing; you should see the Guns 'N' Roses videos.'" -Mary Pipher

 

 In this section of the book, Pipher is describing her therapy sessions with fifteen year-old Cayenne. Cayenne had herpes and would curse often. Pipher discussed many things with Cayenne, from movies to school to boys. Cayenne opened up about her relationship with a boy named Tim. They met at a party and had sex within one hour of meeting. They stayed friends afterwords, but Cayenne admits she wishes the relationship was more romantic. They talked about how movies are sexist and portray women in unrealistic ways that set standards too high. They also talked about how women are seen as sexual objects, and this is when Pipher says the above quote. The scary part about it is that Cayenne seemed indifferent to the sexual portrayal of women; it didn't bother her at all! She made a joke about how she had seen worse!

I feel that this isn't something that just applies to Cayenne. We have all seen countless music videos, especially in rap music, like the ones described above. I believe that the sexual nature seen in the videos is one of the most common themes in music videos. They are racy, provocative, and sexual. Yet we still watch them, and usually without emotions of anger or injustice. Even I can relate! I have seen music videos like this and I am unaffected by the degrading images. I think that most people, especially teenagers, have become desensitized to these types of videos. We don't watch them and become outraged by the behavior or shots of the females in the video. Why? And why is it that such degrading videos are socially acceptable? Where is the line drawn? There is no clear answer to this. No one is really sure of who should be allowed to decide if something is too racy or not for TV or even just production. Sometimes large groups of people feel that a line is crossed, and actions are taken. Many of us have probably heard the song "Don't Stop the Party" by Pitbull. It is his newest hit, and is played on Top 40 radio stations everywhere. However, the music video for this song was recently banned from TV in the UK for being too sexual. You can read about it here in The Sun. The video received five million views in the first ten days of it being posted on YouTube.

Although that music video is extreme, I still feel that there are many more that are unnecessarily sexual. Even though women are solely sexual objects in these videos, we do not protest the degradation. I just can't shake the fact that I feel like this should bother females more than it does for most of us! I think a large portion of why we don't get offended is because it is the choice of these females to subject themselves to this. Plus, there are actual women out there who behave like this. Not many, but still some. Some of us believe that it isn't our problem or life, so they can do what they want. Even if it is frowned upon. What compels an artists to create a video like this? There are so many other creative ideas in the world, but this one is ironically cliche. Maybe this is just me, but I don't understand why skimpily-dressed women makes a music video good. I would rather see something that has a small plot. These sexual videos are boring! It is the same thing for the entire duration of the song! While I understand that a lot of men enjoy watching these females, I feel like even they would get tired of watching the same girls for a few minutes straight.

This isn't pornography, this is a music video. They should be kept separate. It is desensitizing young women and making them think that this degradation is okay, and that they should even mimic these girls.